I Don't Have It All Together!

I'm gonna say it again,
I don't have it all together.

Some of you have seen what I have done over the years.
You've seen my IG pictures and FB posts.

Yes, I've run a marathon.
I've even gutted out an ultra-marathon.
I've used cloth diapers.
And made my own laundry detergent.

I thought baking my own bread was no big deal,
And so for awhile I did that, too.
I cooked my own baby food,
And mixed up our cleaning products.

I loved DIY projects, 
And filled my days creating, all while homeschooling.

Back then, others put me on a pedestal.
I knew how others viewed me.
And so I tried to balance up there,
Doing all I could to maintain that image
And be the perfect little housewife.

And then I crashed.
It's hard to teeter up there on that pedestal. 
I even believe the health issues I later discovered
Came because of these unrealistic expectations I put upon myself.

And so I come to you now in what I hope is a much more humble position.
I stand among you,
Not above you.
I will continue to share my experiences with you.
But I am still learning SO. Much. Myself.

I don't have every room completely organized.
I don't have everything labeled and color-coordinated.
My schedule doesn't always work.
I now buy my laundry detergent
And our bread, too.

My kids don't always obey cheerfully on the first time.
I (more often than I like to admit) loose my patience.
I get frustrated.
I am frail.
And, at times, I cry.

But through all of this I am learning.
This, my friends, is what the Cross is for.
I won't be able to do it all.
I will fail.
But because of His grace, 
I will pick myself up.
Over. And over. And over again.
I will cling tightly to my Savior's hand.

And I will remember,
I don't have to have every closet organized,
Or teach the perfect school year. 
I just need to be obedient to what He calls me to do.
And rely on His strength to do it.

Eunora